252: The Trivium Method Applied – Voluntary Communication (Part 3 of 4, Helpful Metaphors and Methods)
Part Three: Helpful Metaphors and Methods
What are the results of knowing and using the skills of the Trivium Method of critical thinking in conjunction with the skills of using Voluntary Communication, also known as Non-Violent Communication (or NVC)?
This show continues a series about Merging the Trivium Method with Voluntary Communication, and developing strategies for better interpersonal connections. Darrell Becker will be co-hosting all episodes in this series.
Discussed Today: (Darrell’s Notes)
1. Splinters in the Mind: Mental Splinters are composed of the dependence and exclusive use of the informal logical fallacies as methods of making important decisions. Emotional Splinters are composed of emotional “wounds” or emotions that indicate values and desires that are not adequately being tended to, and are often used to create decisions that are based upon the “Stimulus-Emotion-Pre-Programmed Response” pattern of the choice of action.
2. Bridge of Empathy: This refers to the connection of caring between individuals, a perceptible and subjectively felt quality of mutual compassion between communicating individuals.
The properties of this “Bridge” include the qualities of only being crossable by the voluntary action of each person to each other person. One cannot push or pull one’s own self or someone else across this bridge, only a voluntary decision to care about each other can constitute the construction of a solid “Bridge of Empathy”.
3. 18-Wheeler’s of Logic: This refers to the delivery system of each individual’s information and the method of interpretation that is intended for such information. Picture a “Bridge of Empathy” as providing the terrain required to support the “18-Wheeler” truck carrying the logic cargo from one individual to another. A “Manifest” is included in this cargo, listing all of the included information and the relevant rationales being employed and utilized. Each individual is encouraged to voluntarily choose which items are being desired to “unload” off of the truck and utilize, and which are not being valued (at that time) by an individual, and are left on the “truck”.
4. Intellectual and Empathetic Lenses, Using Them to Help Focus “Reality”:
You see the intellectual side of yourself, other individuals and the entire universe, looking through the lens of the Trivium method of critical thinking. Questions are asked consistently (the 5 W’s + How) and intellectual equilibrium is desired, designed, engineered and created, using methods that lead to desired and predictable results.
You see the empathetic side of yourself and other individuals, looking through the lens of NVC, using an internal and external application of OFNR + knowledge and understanding of the 4D’s. Emotional and empathetic equilibrium are desired, designed, engineered and created, using methods that lead to desired and predictable results.
Methods to Help Generate a “Bridge of Empathy”, Within and Between Individuals:
There is usually a series of attempts made to create a palpable connection of caring/respect between each of the individuals. O-F-N-R is used to make a guess as to finding a way to connect to any specific individual.
A. Speak specifically in reference to the other person’s Needs (motivating factors, values & desires). This means the abstract concepts (see: literacy of needs), with no nouns or proper nouns.
B. Speak of your own Feelings, as a method of being vulnerable, unless you would think this could be confused with an attempt to solicit pity or some other emotion, in reference to the discussion.
C. Speak of your own Needs (motivating factors stated in the abstract), unless you would think this could be confused with an attempt to beg or persuade, and if it seems such attempts would not serve to create connection.
D. Speak of the other person’s Feelings, unless you think this could be confused with some Diagnosing of the other person, or some other psychological “intrusion” into unwanted emotional territory.
Also open to discussion, for the purposes of connecting empathetically and potentially creating intellectual harmony, is communicating about the Observations and Strategies (a.k.a. “Requests” or Actions).
A. Speak to how the other person Observed the situation (from their perspective).
B. Speak to how you Observed the situation, unless you think this could be confused with an attempt to persuade or imply some inaccuracy on the part of the other person.
C. Speak to how you wish to respond with Requests which could lead to enhanced levels of connection and empathy, unless you see such requests being confused with Demands.
D. Speak to how the other person choses to respond (their Requests or actions), unless it seems that speaking about the other person’s choice of response is being confused for a Diagnosis.
Darrell’s Communication Glossary – http://schoolsucksproject.com/practical-definitions-voluntary-communication-by-darrell-becker/
Center for Nonviolent Communication – https://www.cnvc.org/
Jan Irvin’s Site, Trivium Education – http://www.triviumeducation.com/
T&H Trivium Resources – https://www.tragedyandhope.com/trivium/
Discouraging words: Life-alienating communication – http://www.noogenesis.com/malama/discouragement/words.html
School Sucks NVC Group – http://schoolsucksproject.com/community/groups/non-violent-communication-nvc-group/