Monthly Archives: December 2013

253: The Trivium Method Applied – Voluntary Communication (Part 4 of 4, Advanced Strategies and Review)

My final addition to the Voluntary Communications series on the School Sucks Podcast

(Link to the School Sucks Podcast episode…)

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DECEMBER 30, 2013 / LEAVE A COMMENT

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Part Four: Advanced Strategies and Review
What are the results of knowing and using the skills of the Trivium Method of critical thinking in conjunction with the skills of using Voluntary Communication, also known as Non-Violent Communication (or NVC)?

This show concludes a series about Merging the Trivium Method with Voluntary Communication or NVC, and developing strategies for better interpersonal connections. Darrell Becker will be co-hosting all episodes in this series.

Discussed Today: (Darrell’s Notes)

Statements and Phrases to Help Generate Connection
Here’s a strategy for designing greater empathetic and intellectual effectiveness (as defined above) in one’s own life:

1. Internal Intellectual Equilibrium & Internal Empathetic Equilibrium is desired, designed, engineered and created. “Splinters of the Mind” are self-identified and removed.
2. “Bridges of Empathy” are desired, designed, engineered and created.
3. Connection between individuals is established, logical and empathetic communications are established. Assessments of evidence begins to be made with greater depth and scope, and conclusions are drawn and redrawn using the evidence of intellectually and empathetically acquired data. Obstacles are identified.
4. Creativity is allowed to occur, which is encouraged by enhanced Flexibility with each individual’s intellectual and empathetic methods.
5. Innovation occurs, and the obstacles are seen as opportunities, by creating artistic expressions, businesses providing goods and services which help to remove the effects of the obstacles (or remove the obstacle completely), social events, and creative applications that are as-yet unknown.

Proper Care of One’s Lenses: Questions to ask and answer for one’s self:

1. Are my lenses scratched or splattered with obstructing images, such as appeals to any authority wherein the evidence is referred to but there is not any primary or secondary corroboration of the supporting evidence?
2. What observations (available from your favorite search engines on the internet) are available covering various pro/con/objective/subjective/alternative perspectives involving whichever type of “lens” that is being considered (i.e. NVC, the Trivium method, etc)?
3. How does the use of the methods of the above-described “lenses” work in terms of analysis using this version of the “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs”?

MaslowPyramid

Phrases and Expressions that are potentially useful for “Building Bridges of Empathy”

1. “Perhaps….What do you think of this assertion/observation?”
2. “Would you be willing to hear me out on this idea or observation?” (It might often be preferable for there to be made explicitly clear that there is an “opt out” function for them to say “No!” and for more options to be included in the discussion.)
3. (To say quietly to one’s self, usually…) “I noticed when I observed _____ I felt ____ because of some apparent desire or value I had for _____ . I’ll make a plan to say/do ____ now, or later on, so as to fulfill my own personal desire or value for ______.” All of this is done quietly in one’s own head, unless this is being shared with someone who both knows and understands these skills, as well as has the empathetic equilibrium and interest in one’s own emotional and intellectual landscape.
4. “I wonder if ______. What do you think about this idea/observation?”
5. “I speculate that _____. Perhaps ________? What do you think?”
6. “It seems possible to me that ______. Does it seem to you that _______?”

7. “Would you be willing to summarize your conclusions? I might need help with understanding your assertions, and I’m willing to try again to better understand what you are asserting.” [Conclusions, assertions and “beliefs” are identified, for the purpose of clarity in communication.]

8. “What is it that you personally advocate for? What is it that you personally would suggest, regarding our discussion?” [Suggestions and advocacies are identified for the purpose of clarity in communication.]

9. [This is a conceptual strategy.] “Insults” are viewed as being words or actions that might be interpreted as hostile acts or “Attacks”. As with all “Attacks”, a “Target” is required to make the “Attack” appear to have any effect in any real way. The “Target” could be real things (people, items, etc.) or abstract things (ideas, ideologies, “beliefs”). If the “Target” is a person or a tangible and measurable aspect of reality, the “Attack” can be analyzed as potentially being against real people or items. If the “Target” is an idea, a person is required to identify with the idea in such a way as to feel the impact of the “Attack” in order for the words to create any seeming effect.

One of the key words is “interpreted”: it is within the practical (meaning that it is explainable and yields desired and predictable results) knowledge and understanding of the interpretation of words that a person can choose to “Receive” the insult, or to offer “thanks, but no thanks this time” regarding the decision to decline to take the “Gift” of the words, but to gently acknowledge the generosity of the “Gift” that was offered. There is the opportunity to take the (alleged)“Insult” as being connected to describing the feelings and motivating factors of the person who is “Offering” the “Insult”.

Words with great potential for “Definition Wobble” – Potential Problems with Mutual Identification

1. Forgive- (often implying a desire for increased understanding, respect, connection and caring).

2. Apology- (a communication attempting to implying a desire for increased understanding, respect, connection and caring).

Look Closer:

Lesson 28: Elf on the Shelf — Innocent Holiday Whimsy or Dangerous Informant? – http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/130507/lesson_28_elf_on_the/

Voluntary Visions – Darrel’s Blog – http://voluntaryvisions.blogspot.com/

Darrell’s Communication Glossary – http://schoolsucksproject.com/practical-definitions-voluntary-communication-by-darrell-becker/

Center for Nonviolent Communication – https://www.cnvc.org/

Jan Irvin’s Site, Trivium Education – http://www.triviumeducation.com/

T&H Trivium Resources – https://www.tragedyandhope.com/trivium/

Discouraging words: Life-alienating communication – http://www.noogenesis.com/malama/discouragement/words.html

252: The Trivium Method Applied – Voluntary Communication (Part 3 of 4, Helpful Metaphors and Methods)

My 3rd appearance on the School Sucks Podcast:

http://schoolsucksproject.com/252-the-trivium-method-applied-voluntary-communication-part-3-of-4-helpful-metaphors-and-methods/

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DECEMBER 24, 2013 / LEAVE A COMMENT

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Part Three: Helpful Metaphors and Methods
What are the results of knowing and using the skills of the Trivium Method of critical thinking in conjunction with the skills of using Voluntary Communication, also known as Non-Violent Communication (or NVC)?

This show continues a series about Merging the Trivium Method with Voluntary Communication, and developing strategies for better interpersonal connections. Darrell Becker will be co-hosting all episodes in this series.

Discussed Today: (Darrell’s Notes)

Relevant Metaphors:
1. Splinters in the Mind: Mental Splinters are composed of the dependence and exclusive use of the informal logical fallacies as methods of making important decisions. Emotional Splinters are composed of emotional “wounds” or emotions that indicate values and desires that are not adequately being tended to, and are often used to create decisions that are based upon the “Stimulus-Emotion-Pre-Programmed Response” pattern of the choice of action.

2. Bridge of Empathy: This refers to the connection of caring between individuals, a perceptible and subjectively felt quality of mutual compassion between communicating individuals.
The properties of this “Bridge” include the qualities of only being crossable by the voluntary action of each person to each other person. One cannot push or pull one’s own self or someone else across this bridge, only a voluntary decision to care about each other can constitute the construction of a solid “Bridge of Empathy”.

3. 18-Wheeler’s of Logic: This refers to the delivery system of each individual’s information and the method of interpretation that is intended for such information. Picture a “Bridge of Empathy” as providing the terrain required to support the “18-Wheeler” truck carrying the logic cargo from one individual to another. A “Manifest” is included in this cargo, listing all of the included information and the relevant rationales being employed and utilized. Each individual is encouraged to voluntarily choose which items are being desired to “unload” off of the truck and utilize, and which are not being valued (at that time) by an individual, and are left on the “truck”.

4. Intellectual and Empathetic Lenses, Using Them to Help Focus “Reality”:
You see the intellectual side of yourself, other individuals and the entire universe, looking through the lens of the Trivium method of critical thinking. Questions are asked consistently (the 5 W’s + How) and intellectual equilibrium is desired, designed, engineered and created, using methods that lead to desired and predictable results.

You see the empathetic side of yourself and other individuals, looking through the lens of NVC, using an internal and external application of OFNR + knowledge and understanding of the 4D’s. Emotional and empathetic equilibrium are desired, designed, engineered and created, using methods that lead to desired and predictable results.

Methods to Help Generate a “Bridge of Empathy”, Within and Between Individuals:
There is usually a series of attempts made to create a palpable connection of caring/respect between each of the individuals. O-F-N-R is used to make a guess as to finding a way to connect to any specific individual. 
A. Speak specifically in reference to the other person’s Needs (motivating factors, values & desires). This means the abstract concepts (see: literacy of needs), with no nouns or proper nouns.

B. Speak of your own Feelings, as a method of being vulnerable, unless you would think this could be confused with an attempt to solicit pity or some other emotion, in reference to the discussion.

C. Speak of your own Needs (motivating factors stated in the abstract), unless you would think this could be confused with an attempt to beg or persuade, and if it seems such attempts would not serve to create connection.

D. Speak of the other person’s Feelings, unless you think this could be confused with some Diagnosing of the other person, or some other psychological “intrusion” into unwanted emotional territory.

Also open to discussion, for the purposes of connecting empathetically and potentially creating intellectual harmony, is communicating about the Observations and Strategies (a.k.a. “Requests” or Actions).
A. Speak to how the other person Observed the situation (from their perspective).

B. Speak to how you Observed the situation, unless you think this could be confused with an attempt to persuade or imply some inaccuracy on the part of the other person.

C. Speak to how you wish to respond with Requests which could lead to enhanced levels of connection and empathy, unless you see such requests being confused with Demands.

D. Speak to how the other person choses to respond (their Requests or actions), unless it seems that speaking about the other person’s choice of response is being confused for a Diagnosis.

Look Closer:
Darrell’s Communication Glossary – http://schoolsucksproject.com/practical-definitions-voluntary-communication-by-darrell-becker/

Center for Nonviolent Communication – https://www.cnvc.org/

Jan Irvin’s Site, Trivium Education – http://www.triviumeducation.com/

T&H Trivium Resources – https://www.tragedyandhope.com/trivium/

Discouraging words: Life-alienating communication – http://www.noogenesis.com/malama/discouragement/words.html

School Sucks NVC Group – http://schoolsucksproject.com/community/groups/non-violent-communication-nvc-group/